Merlin Star's Website

Reader, I will let you in on a little secret that I have noticed over my lifespan of an easy way to be more inclusive and liked.

Find what annoys them the most and minimize that annoyance if possible.

People complain all the time. They always talk about what annoys them, especially when it comes to work or home. I notice that few people ask how to reduce their annoyances to other people and what ways I myself can be better as to make it easier for me to interact with them.

Most people get shocked by this approach. They wonder “What did I do to prompt this response?” The answer I give is that I want to be as open minded as possible and that includes listening to complaints and doing better.

For fast food and retail workers, it’s typically the customers that shout at them and become abusive. Another common annoyance is a lack of supportive management and ungrateful customers. For me, actually interacting with the workers and not treating them like robots in a meatsuit makes them open up and smile more.

For software devs, it’s people not knowing anything in software and software bugs. For this group, taking the time to actually understand 10% of what they are saying goes a long way and makes them feel more included.

This applies to literally any group that you can think of. Use your search engine “What annoys x” with x being what kind of people you are looking to not annoy. The beauty of this approach is that by doing this, you not only get to be more inclusive, but you may learn some stuff that you never would have known otherwise. For example, asking a Walmart employee how I can be better about finding items so that I bother them less led to them showing me how the store is laid out as well as how the aisles were marked with a letter and number. So now, instead of them having to point me in a direction, they can simply say the letter and number and I will know exactly where to go. That saves me time, effort, and I can escape the nightmare that is Walmart sooner.

So there you go. A simple life hack you can use to do better. Note that I do not recommend this approach if you are a people pleaser as this method will worsen your anxiety and make it harder to not be a people pleaser. Anyways, hope you enjoyed the brief post.